Do you remember the first couple of months after your first little was born? I remember driving down the road one day when Hosanna was so so little. A semi was coming our way, and the only thing I could think was “This truck could drive directly into our vehicle right now, and worse only hit the back seat where my little is, wait! worse yet, it only hit the front seat, and Hosanna would be left orphaned!” Needless to say, I wasn’t all the way prepared for the extreme emotion that comes with having littles. I was warned by all the older ladies–same one who pinch cheeks–that littles are “pieces of your heart walking around” But how was I to really know that that was true?!
Now I know, littles really are pieces of your heart walking around.
I’m no longer driving with thoughts that every vehicle driving down the road is on an fast course to break my heart in a number of treacherous of ways. But the principle is still there. And in the last couple of weeks I’ve had a resurgence of these fears, in a new way.
Mostly in the sense that life is fragile. And sometimes the choices we make have fatal decisions.
Not that I think my littles are going to go out and do something drastic, but the unsettled emotion that anything at any time could do a lot of damage to my very precious ones. It’s almost intimidating. But thankfully 4 years ago, I had my first little of my own. And when I drove down the road I imagined what would happen if the semi-truck coming my way lost control. In there I learned that littles are a gift. Every day with them is a gift. And the more I throw my hopes and dreams that I might have for them onto my reliance on Yeshua the more I can go through the day with peace and complete trust that He’s in control.
It’s still terrifying. Because sometimes hard things happen to even innocent people.
But He will be the only one that can comfort. And so today, I’m holding my littles a little closer. And appreciating what I’ve been given a little dearer.
I’m really sorry for a more mushy post.–don’t want to ruin my “image” you know! ^_^ We can blame the pregnancy if it would help, if the last two weeks experience isn’t enough for you.
Up next? I’m thinking about actually calling the midwife! Are you impressed? Because you should be.
Yes, their little lives are so precious. What a responsibility for us Mommies to protect them — and entrust them to Jesus.
I hear ya!
Oh gosh you’re not alone. I have those thoughts all the time.
I think that’s why I hold so strongly to my live for the moment philosophy.
<3
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