This post has been a long time thought out, and a long time coming.  I’ve maybe formed it in my head a number of times.  In the shower.  While doing dishes, no I don’t have anything better to think about, and yes, I am addicted. Then I won that gift card. Making it due time to explain myself.

I’ve recently become quite the fan of illogical living–I should totally coin that phrase and make my millions, but alas, I’m lazy and this isn’t point.  “Illogical living,” you say?  It’s intriguing I know, and I swear I’ll get to the point–sometime.  But first, let’s define logical living.  Logical living is going by the book.  Insert a type A person here.  Or maybe an everyday type B.  “Just trying to get from point A to point B.”  Okay, okay enough of these letters, this isn’t stinkin’ Sesame Street.  Back to logical living, which is more or less relying on your own self to get the job done.

So what’s Illogical living?  That is defying everything that we are all told, jumping off the deep end, going overboard…and surviving–no, thriving.

Gah, this isn’t english class…enough of this word study.  Onward to my story!!!!!

Remember my post about why I wasn’t posting recently?  Feeling the need to focus on my girls, and all that gooshey sentiment that followed?  Mmhmm, that area of time.  Little did you know, life was focusing on more then that.

I have long made the statement that I am willing to go down with the ship that is He-Brews Coffee & Music.  If you are just joining me, He-Brews is a non-profit coffee shop/music venue that is much more then music and coffee.  And when I say go down with the ship, I mean lose everything and drop down to nothing.  Even if that means phones and other homey comforts.  I believe in what that place has been made for.

Stop thinking I’m crazy. I’m not done with my story.
In the midst of making my going down with the ship statement, I applied for a telemarketing  job elsewhere.  And I didn’t stop there.  I applied for three more jobs online.  Sound like I’m going down with ship?  Maybe, if the ship is in a sea of cubicles with operators standing by (oh man, I am a literary genius! ).

To my surprise, I got the jobs.  Not one, not two, but three.  But something inside me whispered, “don’t do it.”  Mmmmmm…kay??!!!  Don’t make money, yeah that’s a great idea, and makes perfect sense.  It’s really a terrible thing that I couldn’t just shake the idea and be done with it.  I had this grand idea, working my 9-5 and paying my bills, being a mamma of two littles, running a coffee shop, booking shows for the music venue, maintaining web stuff for all of the above, plus daddy in the scenes music store, and jewelry business.  I’ve got plenty of time on my hands.  Uh huh!
Finally, this conversation turned into, “well you can, but that’s all you’re going to be doing.  Get both feet on the ship.”

Me: “I’ve got both feet on the ship.  I’m just trying to be responsible.”

Conversing voice/God: “Uh, no.  You’ve got one foot in the life boat, just in case the ship does start to go down.  What kind of faith is that?”

You know, He’s got a  point there.

And over the course of a week or so, I decided it’s time to stand up for what I really do believe is true…and get both of those feet inside the boat.

It’s a funny thing deciding that I’m going to make a go at this.  Have you ever heard of George Mueller?  Yeah, that guy is rad. What that guy was used for is rad.  And Hosanna’s got the Veggie Tale story of the guy to prove it.  Not only, that’s her favorite new favorite Veggie Tale.  Watching it over, and over, and over, and over, and over–are you catching on?–and over, and over again.  This dude was from Bristol, England.  Felt it called of him to open up an orphanage, with nothing mind you.  When I say nothing I mean he had a bible and that was it.  Then he welcomes orphaned littles in.  In this particular Veggie Tale we have, all of the children in his orphanage are sitting down at the breakfast table getting ready to eat.  The best of this story is that there is literally nothing left for them to eat. Literally.  As asparagus version of George Mueller says, “Now what do we do children?” and they all chant back, “We pray!”
And so he prays.

Funny, the next thing that happens.  The baker knocks on the door.  He had been up all night baking for the orphanage.  OH…it gets better, it gets better.  There’s another knock at the door, it’s the milk man.  Just so happens he’s broken his cart just outside, his milk is going to go bad just sitting outside, maybe the kids at the orphanage can use it. MAYBE?!

Do you see what just happened?  Breakfast.  From nothing.  Jesus said, “I make things from nothing.”

Now, besides the obvious freaking amazing miracle, what turns my crank is the faith and trust involved here.  This George Mueller guy–totally off the deep end, illogically living–has an orphanage with NO FOOD. And yet didn’t waver.  He knew God would provide.  And He did.

I want to see those miracles.

I want to live illogically.  Go off the deep end, both feet on the ship with no lifeboats.  This is the only answer.  And even if He doesn’t provide, I still will not falter.

Feel free to say I’m crazy now.  I feel it.

Want to know what happened the day after I made my official statement, that I am going to live illogically and get both feet on the ship?  Our phones got shut off, due to a lack of payment.  Isn’t that nice?

Want to know what else happened?  I won a $500 gift card.  Out of completely no where.  This my friends is illogical living.  I think I might be crazy, but dang it, you will see God provide.

…And even if He doesn’t, I am still on this ship. God give me the strength not to falter.

by Montague Dawson

For more of mamma\'s thoughts;

• Healing in Process (1)
• Observation: Littles in their Natural Habitat (4)
• Keep on Holding on My friends (2)
• Close Door, Open Door (4)
• When it rains it pours (5)